Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
