We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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