STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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