Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
