she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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