She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
