Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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