Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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