There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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