Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
