he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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