this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
