Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize