Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
