just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Randomize
