I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
