did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize