I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
