I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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