road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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