I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
as a side note pls kill me
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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