dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
