someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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