I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize