As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
