apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
