After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
