I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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