Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
