we have pet lesbian snakes
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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