So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
