so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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