i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
