I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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