We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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