We're like a lot better than the average bears
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
