she looked like the before picture.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
