He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just gift wrapped bread.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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