Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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