When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize