im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
