im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
where am i from again
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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