new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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