This girl is more easily done than said...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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