He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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