Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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