wakey wakey hands off snakey
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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