I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
