I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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