Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
