is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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