you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
