you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
