It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
