You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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