just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
