I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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