You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
