Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
