apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
