:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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