Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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