Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
