If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
