I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
