It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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