I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
