That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
