haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
