Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize