Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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