Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
