She said her name was "party"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
