cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
