shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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