But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize