4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
