She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
